SERENA WILLIAMS BEATS EVERYONE ON THE COURT, BUT STILL CAN’T WIN

Originally published at VerySmartBrothas.

I want to say that the first time that I heard Serena Williams called a man was middle school. I can’t say that with absolute certainty as middle school is generally universally awful and grades six through eight are a haze of mob mentality and chocolate milk but nonetheless, it wasn’t until my teen years that I truly understood that people held a great amount of resentment for Serena Williams. Her muscular frame defied the expectations or demands of femininity at the time, even amongst Black male communities, who yes, liked their women thick, but only if the thick was “soft” looking like Esther Baxter. Somehow, Serena’s fit frame threatened that clear demarcation between strength and beauty that is supposed to exist between genders. Almost two decades later, there are plenty of men and women across racial lines who still possess this opinion: a perfunctory search of “Serena” and “ugly” or “Serena” and “man” will generate a terrifying number of results.

This obsession with minimizing and masculinizing Serena isn’t just limited to a beauty standard, however. After being overshadowed by her big sister Venus earlier in her career, Serena burst onto the scene with two huge tools in her arsenal — a strong baseline forehand and a dominant serve. Which were not only impressive for their speed — at around 129 mph Serena has the 3rd fastest recorded serve in women’s open era history — but her consistent ability to crack 115 mph with precision in ball placement. While women’s tennis had already been trending towards a more power-era sport with competitors such as Monica Seles disrupting the status quo, Serena’s serve set a new standard, requiring her competitors to train towards consistently returning speeds that were more commonly seen in men’s tennis. With the new benchmark being set and Serena’s serve taking her through a dominant run in the early aughts, the never-ending question started to rear its ugly head amongst professional tennis critics: could Serena be strong enough to compete with men? Does her physique provide her an unfair advantage over women?

The answer to both of these is obviously no (unless you count mixed doubles, which is a whole other ball game). However, the fact that this discussion has loomed so large over her career through a layered combination of misogyny and racism is what makes it so especially insulting that the same discussion is used to invalidate her legendary accomplishments. Evidenced most recently by John McEnroe, who stated that he couldn’t call her the best tennis player ever without a gender qualifier “if she played the men’s circuit, she’d be, like, 700 in the world.”

While it’s largely irrelevant, it should be noted that it’s unlikely that she would be ranked as low as 700. Regardless, what John and others like him refuse to understand about removing the qualifier is that it has nothing to do with whether or not Serena can compete at a high level with men. Serena Jameka Williams from Compton, California is one of, if not the best tennis player of all time because of her dominance and rebranding of the sport in spite of an elitist community that resisted accepting her as one of their own. She went from being ostracized as a villain the United States Tennis Association to being the face of it, selling out arenas in record time in a sport that was declining in attendance. Her and her sister are singlehandedly responsible in the resurgence of tennis interest in this country, both from viewership to actual participation of young Black women in the amateur circuit at a young age. And she did it all while wearing a cat suit, crip walking, and appearing in Beyonce videos.

It’s nearly impossible to overstate just how overscrutinized Serena’s rise to the top was. The conversations around her frame have continued well into the latter phase of career. In 2015, the New York Times bifurcated her “large biceps and mold-breaking muscular frame” with that of her competitors, who “chose not to” pursue the same frame because they “want to be a woman” or don’t want to “feel unfeminine.” In 2009, sentient pile of black mold Jason Whitlock infamously associated Serena’s then-struggles to return to the top with her size, claiming that if Serena could just focus on becoming leaner, she would become the greatest ever – which is quite the criticism from someone who can only claim to be singlehandedly the greatest in keeping the pork pie hat industry alive. And now, in 2017, the same frame that has somehow robbed her of her claim to femininity, that was consistently and unfoundedly associated with aggression and a brutishness that is unbecoming of a female tennis star, is being evaluated as unfit to stand in a man’s apparently dutiful place in history. This is after 23 Grand Slams across multiple generations of tennis peers, after being inaccurately reduced to a passing fad by both her contemporaries, and after redefining the entire approach to women’s tennis in such an unprecedented manner that a tennis star the likes of Maria Sharapova – who actually has been suspended for taking banned substances, as opposed to Serena, despite near-constant accusations to the contrary – can be reduced to near-insignificance. Roger Federer can’t make that same claim, much less McEnroe.

 Greatness has to do with more than athletic ability – Andy Roddick, with a serve of 150 mph is on no one’s greatest list (except for maybe one of “greatest finessers of multimillion endorsement deals while barely winning shit” with Anna Kournikova). Greatness is about impact, and the uncontested fact remains that in the last 25 years, Serena Williams has impacted the sport more than any of her peers, male or female. Serena can have her baby tomorrow and never pick up a racket again while exchanging cutesy Reddits with her fiancé on playdates with the Carter-Knowles twins and that significance of her multi-decade trajectory will remain an indelible constant. There’s no arbitrary ranking that McEnroe can make that will ever take that away, no matter how often he uses the gender qualifier to minimize it.

 

There Will Never Be a Better Dating Show Than I Love New York

Originally published on The Cut.

On May 22, 2017, Rachel Lindsay stepped out from a limousine and became the first black woman to receive the supplications of 25 men on network television. It’s welcome change, and one that is long overdue; but while Rachel may be the first black Bachelorette of the ABC franchise, she is not the first black Bachelorette of our hearts. That is a title that is reserved for the notorious Tiffany “New York” Pollard.

For those who are unfamiliar, Tiffany Pollard (of the Utica, New York, Pollards) made her grand entrance into the reality-show cannon in 2006 via VH1’s cult-classic dating game show, Flavor of Love, starring Public Enemy’s Flavor Flav as the bachelor. As one of several women competing for Flav’s affection, Pollard brazenly declared early on that she would be the last woman standing, earning the nickname “New York” both for her hometown as well as her distinctly “uptown” demeanor. In short form, New York’s wit and brashness quickly made her a fan favorite with viewers thanks to lines like I never was a child — soon as I popped out of my mom, I was in the know.” New York ran through two seasons of the show, then turned her ultimate rejection into a franchise of her own — I Love New York, which ran for a magical two seasons on VH1 (and is still available on Hulu).

ILNY was a dating competition with Pollard calling the shots. It’s difficult to explain the pure wondrousness of those 25 episodes for those who didn’t watch in real time: Every week a bevy of men from all walks of life competed for the adulation of a regular black girl from around the way. She made no qualms about making it clear that the men were there for her objectification, from lasciviously commenting on one’s bulge to letting another know he looked like “a pinto bean with eyes.” She could tell a man that she looked forward to treating him as a plaything in the same breath as she expressed a desire for a “real thug” straight out of Destiny’s Child’s “Soldier.” Pollard was also prone to giving them nicknames of her own such as Token, Whiteboy — my personal favorite — Rico, and Punk, who is now more commonly known as David Otunga, the fiancee of Jennifer Hudson.

Whereas the Bachelor franchise portrays a sanitized and polished ideal of romantic fantasy, I Love New York leaned heavily into the farce of courtship. The men cooked for Pollard. They scrubbed the house. They drew up business plans to market their financial value. There was even a beauty-pageant competition, replete with a swimsuit contest and talent competition! Episode after episode featured men embodying the worst of the traits that are so commonly attributed to black women on corresponding reality programs — cattiness, dramatics, and underhanded antics for the sake of camera time and Pollard’s adoration. And instead of roses, she gave chains.

But the significance of New York’s run lies beyond her show’s entertainment value. For two years, a regular-shmegular black woman was adored for being shamelessly herself without caveats or compromises. There was no political correctness or need for genteel demurs as someone proudly proclaims they would “like to go black and never go back,” as Rachel Lindsay recently had to endure (in fact, early on in the show Pollard ardently expressed her disapproval of a contestant calling her his little negrita). What made Pollard so loved was the fact that she spoke her mind. Proclamations such as, “When I make these motherfuckers cum I do it with my heart!” are the sort of unadulterated, bona fide emotion that both entertained and bonded her audience to her journey for love. The varnish that seems to be a prerequisite to be a network darling, especially a black one (Rachel is not only full of girl-next-door appeal, but a lawyer at a top Dallas law firm) was absent on ILNY, and the show was all the better for it.

As a fan of the Bachelor franchise, I am looking forward to enjoying Rachel’s current season — if the first few episodes are any indication, there will be some compelling narratives ahead for Rachel and her suitors to contend with. Rachel’s combination of poise and girl-next-door appeal makes her a perfect fit for a franchise that has long been marred by allegations of lack of diversity — and while she may not tell anyone to “take the high road all the way to hell, bitch” à la Pollard, she has made it very clear that she did not sign up for this endeavor to be embarrassed.

While I await the next episode of this season-long romance-novel, however, I will continue to tip my hat to the first black woman of the reality-show era to set her own terms in the search for love, and thank God for my monthly Hulu subscription that allows me to revisit this time-capsule moment, chains and all.

IT’S A LOW DOWN DIRTY SHAME WHAT REMY MA DID TO THAT NICKI GIRL FROM QUEENS

Originally published on VerySmartBrothas.

When I heard direct shots cast at Remy Ma on Gucci Mane & Nicki’s reconciliatory collab “Make Love”, three words immediately came to mind: are you dumb?

Apparently Remy felt similarly – and on Saturday, February 25, 2017 at 1:03 PM  EST, one Onika Tanya Maraj got her entire life snatched in just under 7 minutes by the Queen of Castle Hill, Reminisce Mackie, in a comprehensive takedown that was the result of a decade of tension by arguably two of the most visible female rappers today.

My love for Remy is no secret. I’ve stanned for her since she came on the scene on Big Pun’s Yeah Baby with the underrated track “Ms. Martin“, and followed that up in the same year with the “Ante Up Remix” – a song that is permanently on my gym playlist (as is the “Girlfight” remix). I still toe whop  to “Whuteva” when the mood strikes. Just a couple months ago, I flawlessly performed the seminal classic “Conceited” during a lipsync/karaoke challenge.

I was verklempt when she was sentenced to 8 years for exacting street justice against a girlfriend who robbed her, and still wonder what would have been her career trajectory if she hadn’t been robbed of her momentum on the heels of two hit singles. I’m sure this is something Nicki wonders as well – when Remy went in to do her bid, the two were publicly squabbling over what Remy perceived to be a shot at her on a freestyle.

As the years passed, it seemed that both women had decided to leave their bygones behind with their curly weave/straight bang pack hair combo and remain cordial. Nicki catapulted to superstardom, going from recording freestyles on project staircases to becoming a pop crossover sensation in the houses of high school fans everywhere – bye bye, “Beam Me Up Scotty”, hello “Super Bass”. And while Remy’s music upon her initial release had a few false starts (me and maybe 4 other people listened to her I’m Around mixtape), she eventually hit her second wind, recording the Grammy-nominated “All the Way Up” (with Jay on the remix), appearing on the West Coast leg on the Formation Tour to  extremely positive receptions, and branding her and her husband as debatably the strongest example of Black Love on Reality TV (as opposed to Yandy Smith’s ‘non-marriage’ to an adulterous felon).

By all indications, the two rappers now exist in different lanes, serve separate fanbases, and should coexist without issue save for the occasional sub (which I frankly don’t mind, if it keeps both women a bit competitive). It’s this fact that makes it all the more befuddling that Nicki took it upon herself to launch the first grenade:

“You the queen of this here?/One platinum plaque, album flopped, bitch, where? /Hahaha, ahhhhh/I took two bars off just to laugh/You see, silly rabbit, to be the queen of rap/You gotta sell records, you gotta get plaques/S, plural like the S on my chest/Now sit your dumbass down, you got an F on your test”

Listen to the song for yourself. It’s largely a middling verse. I mean, she rhymes “Nas” with “nahs” and “knives”. And she took two bars off just to laugh, which might be the most laughable way to create filler since Wayne had that three year stretch of correcting himself after mispronouncing words (go to Google and type “Wayne” and “oops I meant”). I would think that if you were going to declare war against a woman who shot her friend twice in the stomach, you would come with a tighter assault than that, but as they say, hindsight is 20/20.

Less than 48 hours later, Remy got on wax and addressed in no particular order: Nicki’s butt shots, using ghostwriters, switching from crew to crew to get on, her 360 deal and inflated sales, her deflated buttshots, her previous proclaimed fandom of Remy, stealing Remy’s lines, abandoning Safaree, general disloyalty, her pedophile brother, her fake goon status, alleged drug use, stunts on Mariah, Taylor, and Miley, selling a dangerous body image, instigating beef between Meek  and Drake, Foxy Brown’s hearing loss, her stupid ass chicken wing necklace, and flipped the Back to Back cadence to dismiss Nicki’s internet antics.

In short, it was the most comprehensive diss I’ve heard since “Takeover.” Every time I run the track back (I’m easily on twentysomething listens) I hear something new. I fully expect to discover some other rumor that Meek leaked to Remy that I was too busy screaming aloud to notice on my next play.

When it comes to disses, two things matter: content and punchline delivery. Remy hit on both. Take “Nas” and “nahs” or the “S” in plaques and compare it to this:

I’m sayin’, how you mix Nicki with a Minaj?/I’ma park this bitch, put Nicki in the garage/I’m gettin’ money like Nicky Barnes, I’m the big homie/I responded in less than 48 Hours; Nick Nolte/Gettin’ close like Nick Jonas, grippin’ the gauge/Then blaze off, Face Off, bitch, Nicolas Cage/You animated like Nickelodeon, you fake, bitch/Only the kids believe in you; you St. Nick/Now when I shoot Nick at Nite, they won’t understand it/I’m Wild’n Out, ’bout to hit Nick with the Cannon

Or this:

And stop talkin’ numbers, you signed a 360 deal through Young Money, through Cash Money, through Republic/Which means your money go through five niggas before you touch it/Any videos, promotions come out of your budget/Endorsements, tour and merchandise, they finger-fuck it/You make, like, 35 cents off of each ducat/I own my masters, bitch, independent/So for every sale I do, you gotta do like ten/Stop comparin’ yourself to Jay, you not like him/You a motherfuckin’ worker, not a boss like Rem

….nigga MY feelings are hurt and I didn’t even do nothing to Remy. Whew.

As of writing this, we have yet to get an official response from Nicki Minaj, short of a few deleted tweets to Trey Songz and mentions of album sales that Remy already addressed. It’s safe to say that Onika was served a very sizable L-shaped two-piece, no biscuit; and frankly, while Nicki has certainly had a more successful career than Remy, I don’t think there has ever been a point where she could outrap her, so I am not especially hype for any significant come back that Nickelodeon could deliver. Everyone has their day and Nick Nolte was handed hers.

In the grand scheme of things, this is unlikely to hit St. Nick that hard – at this point, her staple fan base isn’t one that cut their teeth in the late 90s/early aughts era of rap that would have a diss of this magnitude make or break your career, and her crossover content will largely be unaffected. However, this is a major win for Remy, who has struggled to reconcile the rap game she left with the one that she is now walking into. She managed to dominate an entire weekend by leveraging the grit she has always had against a competitor who for the last several years has claimed the top spot nearly by default; in an industry that has the attention span of a hummingbird, she managed to flip the Aubrey-style internet stunt culture on its head by refocusing the debate to content and skill as opposed to retweets, let us and Nicki know in her own words, “don’t ever in your life fucking play with me.” That is no easy feat, and I can only hope to see her capitalize on this momentum in a way that she wasn’t able to a decade ago.

RIP Rap Nicki Minaj. Long live Queen Remy. Buy “Shether” on Itunes.

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THE INSULT AND INTIMIDATION OF BLACK WOMEN IS AS AMERICAN AS APPLE PIE

Originally posted on VerySmartBrothas.

In an ideal world, we would spend the next few hundred words articulating the significance of a Black woman achieving rapid career acceleration in the entertainment industry after decades of hard work. Leslie Jones’s addition to SNL, an institution Whiter than tampon commercial underwear, is a major accomplishment. As is her being cast in the Ghostbusters reboot.

Instead, we are forced to lament what continues to be the striking reality for Black women in the age of social media. That with increased visibility comes increased vitriol. And that we exist in a society that feels entitled to dictate the narrow confines of where Black women are allowed to flourish versus the spaces that we should not encroach.

This isn’t a tale limited to Leslie; the Rio Olympics had us revisiting the targeted insults lobbied at Gabby Douglas, a young woman who has also been open about how the ill-spirited commentary affected her. Talk to any Black woman of any level of notoriety or platform in social media and you’ll be regaled with tale after tale of unprompted gender-based and race-based (and sometimes both at the same time) hate speech from keyboard trolls the world over. Ultimately, the plight of online harassment, on Twitter especially, has been an oft-discussed problem that seems to have received minimal traction from the company on a grand scale.

One could argue that yes, this happens to many women regardless of race. But the layering of race is too critical to ignore here as just a minor component. Jones’s costars Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, and Kate McKinnon certainly haven’t been compared to a deceased silverback gorilla. Or referred to as “big-lipped coons.” Or been the target or a publicly coordinated attack by a Breitbart writer. Or any of the other vitriolic slurs that targeted not just Leslie’s gender, but her race, as well as her aesthetic existing on the outliers of what is viewed as traditionally beautiful for Hollywood elite. Jones has been forced to bear the brunt of the attacks herself, with limited public support (if any) from her costars, a circumstance, which, by her own admission, she is used to. An unfortunate reality for a Black woman with a certain level of exposure.

This all came to a head, when hackers infiltrated Leslie’s personal website with her sensitive personal information, not only doxing her, but leaking nude photos from her iCloud and uploading a video of the deceased gorilla Harambe.

The last time this happened on a major scale — with the victims being Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton, amongst others — the public outcry was so deafening that the FBI got involved. I’m still awaiting for any of these two conditions to arise in the light of these circumstances. At the time of writing, her costars have yet to comment publicly in support of Leslie’s continuously unwarranted plight. (Editor’s note: The FBI is involved now.)

Instead, what I have witnessed is a plethora of jokes at Leslie’s expense with regards to leaking her nudes; as if a woman who doesn’t fit the perceived mainstream standards of desirability should be less entitled to outrage at her violation of privacy than the Jennifer Lawrences and Scarlett Johannsons of the world. The impetus behind leaking, after all, isn’t just to share the bits and kibbles of America’s most beautiful; its to inflict shame and embarrassment upon women for exercising the right to celebrate their body at their discretion. And the additional layer of comparing Leslie’s physical aesthetic to that of an animal — a comparison with historically racist implications — is intended to add further insult to her public exposure, inviting criticisms to the concept of her or anyone else celebrating her form as an exercise in mockery and humiliation.

It shouldn’t be expected of Leslie to just persevere and rise above this. While it is admirable that she has so far transformed the spurts of written violence into moments of awareness and advocacy, that isn’t a weight that she should have to carry alone, and the absence of certain voices to uplift her in these trials and tribulations is also deafening. We shouldn’t be expecting Leslie to push through this adversity, we should be demanding civility and gatekeeping from the arbiters of the ecosystem that was intended to be built for healthy public engagement and not hate speech. Cyberbullying against Black Women shouldn’t be our expected burden to bear; we are people, not battering rams, entitled to justice, civility and a base-level respect that should be afforded to any human at all levels of celebrity. As social media continues to expand and transform, it is paramount that we collectively hold accountable the gatekeepers of the applications we keep viable via our engagement, and demand that the protection of Black women from targeted attacks be prioritized in the ongoing battles of cyberbullying and internet harassment.

Unfortunate Fashion Choices of Decades Past

Originally posted on VerySmartBrothas.


It’s the early aughts in NYC. A young East African girl (by way of Canada) is preparing for her sophomore year of high school in the North Bronx. She had just spent the summer with her family in France, and just KNEW she was ready to be fresh to death with her back-to-school outfit.

At long last, the first day of school came around, and she stepped confidently off of her Bedford Park Boulevard stop, onto Jerome Avenue, and strolled on to campus…wearing yellow stretch camo pants, black ups*, a denim jacket, oversized hoops, and waist length straightback cornrows.

Now, I don’t know this poor soul, but rumor has it that she has since burned every single piece of evidence that this outfit ever existed – save for one photo that her mother is keeping in her photo album under close watch, presumably for blackmail reasons.

While this a truly harrowing tale, this completely random girl wasn’t alone in this tragic era of “urban fashion.” The late 90s and early 00s** were chock full of disastrous fashion choices. No one was safe from matching their laces with their belt, or wearing a blue and orange jersey dress because the Knicks are your favorite team.***

1. The Cropped Down Jacket

down

For when you’re cold, but your abs are on fleek. The entire Baby Phat Era was just a dark time for us all. God bless Kimora for keeping hope alive.

2. Name Jewelry

sham

I had a friend who had a huge crush on a girl in high school, and wanted to let her know by buying her a gift for her birthday. He saved his coins and walked to the jeweler off of Mosholu Parkway to get her name on a chain with white gold plates. The week before her birthday he went to go pick it up… and the chain said “Keisha.”

Her name was “Keshia.” $200 down the drain.

I wonder if he ever ended up dating a girl named Keisha.

3. Ridiculously Baggy Clothing (especially on skinny men)

skinny

This one will never fail to befuddle me. I mean, baggy clothes were silly in general, but slender dudes were really out there in their older brother’s hand-me-downs just drowning in fabrics like that was the wave. While I think we’ve overcorrected in recent days with the skinny jeans – I am quite happy that “shorts that go down to your ankles” are no longer a thing.

I could go on forever – Avirex flight jackets, NBA jeans, kitten heels –  but I try not to insult the sartorial choices of folks who have done extended bids in maximum security prisons.

Please feel free to litter the comments section with your tragic outfit decisions – I know at least one of you guys was overcommitted to Coach accessories, or walked around with a toothbrush to prevent your white kicks from scuffing. This is a safe space!

Well, not really. But know that we will roast with love.

*Air Force Ones for the uninitiated

**Also, the present-day Bronx

***Whoever this poor girl is, I hope she has found some fashion sense. But she probably just thinks that crop tops are year-round attire.

An Ode To Jaleesa Vinson

Originally posted on VerySmartBrothas.


In an effort to distract myself from the bad news of recent days — the fate of NY area sports teams, the latest Kanye track, my most recent bank statement — I’ve kicked off a binge of A Different World.

A cursory Google search of the series will generate hundreds of thousands of words written about A Different World and its impact on everything from HBCU attendance to awareness on critical Black themes of the 80s and 90s — many of which still apply today. Topics ranged from the serious — rape, faith, AIDS, colorism — to the more lighthearted;A Different World made fun of hoteps decades before Black Twitter saw fit to give them that name.

There have also been essays ad infinitum on the magic of the Black love that was Dwayne and Whitley. While significant, I’m not interested in adding another ode to their canon. Instead, I want to take a moment to shout out one of the consistently underrated members of the ensemble cast: Jaleesa Vinson.

It might just be a sign of the age group I am in now, but in revisiting the series, Dawnn Lewis’ character is the one who I immediately gravitated to. Jaleesa was an all-around bad bitch. She was tall. She was funny. She was wise. She was stylish. She was smart. She could sing and dance.

She was damn near 30 dealing with the whims of 20 year olds on a day to day basis. She was a saint for this alone! When was the last time you had to deal with 20 year olds at length? My brother is 19 years old and his Instagram is a walking Drake meme. Not to mention she was relegated to playing keeper for all of the light brights on the show. She shared living spaces with Denise, Freddie, AND Whitley. That’s five years of being unable to borrow beauty and hair products! How many nights do you think Freddie berated Jaleesa for hairspray usage in the o-zone while flouncing around in her wash and go?

Jaleesa pressed reset on her life after a failed marriage and a miscarriage and never apologized or provided qualification for who she was or how she got there. She stayed with a suitor. She had casual bedmates without concern for what people thought. She carried condoms in her purse!

This was never confirmed on the show but I bet you Jaleesa could bake a mean chicken thigh too. Real recognize real.

For the first four seasons of the show*, Jaleesa served as the pragmatic voice of reason for a bunch of 18-22 year olds who ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. Essentially, they acted their age while she acted hers. She encouraged them to revel in their youth while disavowing them of the notion that they were not responsible for their choices. She consistently challenged the gender norms that were upheld by both men and women. She was there to remind them that more often than not, it was probably not the end of the world, as long as they had the chance to wake up in the morning and try again. Most importantly, she did it all while sporting a mean ‘do and toned arms.

The under-appreciation of Jaleesa Vinson’s role as the glue that helped hold a bevy of dramatic young adults together should be added to the list of questions that will remain asked and unanswered on the series, such as: why in the world didn’t Dwayne date Freddie in season two? Where were the milk cartons with Maggie Lauten’s face on them after she went to Greece never to be seen again? Or did she go under witness protection only to reappear as Ms. Whiteman in Empire? Did Matthew clap on the twos and fours? And last, but certainly not least: how on earth did Byron’s groomsmen not immediately offer Dwayne a two piece, no fries, at the wedding?

*I know she was on the show for five, but Jaleesa Vinson becoming Jaleesa Vinson Taylor is something I’ve chosen to forget ever happened.